the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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