The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
