I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Randomize
