trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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