I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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