You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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