you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
