GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize