Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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