I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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