Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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