I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want nice things and good sex
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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