My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
