oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
