You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
