I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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