i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
