Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
