I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
