She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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