you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
