Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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