We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
