He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
