I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
