Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
