sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
