I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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