why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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