Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
