I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
