Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
