I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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