Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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