shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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