do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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