Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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