You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
