brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
