Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
