before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
