these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
