You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
