Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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