It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
