i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
