you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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