I'm really into asian looking animals
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
