I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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