3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I deserve this hangover.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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