All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
