so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
