His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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